What is the Neurosequential Trauma Assessment (NMT), with Reba Renner

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so I’m I’m very happy to have Reba

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Renner joining me today I am I can’t

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even start with how excited I am to have

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Reba as an actual part of the X

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parenting team I met Reba

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actually met you after you became part

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of the team sort of really in in all

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honesty I heard about you from our dear

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friend Linda do you want to talk about

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how how you heard about what we were

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doing with Linda do you want to start

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with that

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well Linda Seger’s been a close friend

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for many many years we raised our same

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age children side-by-side for years and

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Linda’s in the field of parenting and

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when she found you she was so excited

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and she shared that excitement with me

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and eventually came around and said you

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know we’re we’re doing something here

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that’s really fun and exciting and you

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need to be a part of it so that I kind

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of jumped in not sure what I was getting

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into but I trusted her lead on that and

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I’m very excited to be here which I I

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totally love that you jumped in like you

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did and from the moment that I met Linda

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Linda and I connected and instantly

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shared this passion for supporting

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parents especially parents who were

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going through supporting kids that were

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having the parents that were under

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stress and children who were under

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stress and so we had this instant

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connection and passion for supporting

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parents

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and very quickly after meeting Linda she

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started talking about you and telling me

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that I needed to meet you and and

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thought that we would be able to work

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together in a really great way and she

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started talking to me about your

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background and some of the things you

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had done specifically with neurofeedback

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and some of your career history and when

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I started talking to Linda about the

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neuro supply shelter AMA assessment and

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how it had impacted our parenting

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experience our parenting journey and

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supported our kids I know that she was

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really excited to talk to you about it

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and I think that’s how things got

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started to Linda introduce you to the

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neuro sequential trauma assessment

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definitely yes I had not heard of it

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and it was really your story about your

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daughter that sort of hooked me wanting

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to know more and see what it was about

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yeah so I’ll tell it that story that’s

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like that’s a good sort of place to

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start so my daughter there was well

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among many behaviors early on and our

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parenting journey we just did not

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understand our children’s behavior for a

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long time we were very convinced that a

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lot of their behavior was willful and

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defiant and you know we were taking a

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very behavioural approach with their

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behavior which there was a lot of it and

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it was extreme and it was very stressful

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and caused a lot of isolation for our

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family we we were looking at their

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behavior through the lens that it needed

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to be corrected and it needed to be

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addressed in this behavioral way and we

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had the opportunity after going to a

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training with dr. Bruce Perry and after

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learning a lot about the neuroscience we

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had the opportunity to get the neuro

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sequential trauma

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assessment and my daughter had this

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behavior that she this one in particular

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that she used to walk with her hands

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drawing her hands along the wall

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specifically that behavior and we tried

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everything we could think of to correct

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that behavior out of her I mean really

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when I think back about what we did to

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try to get her to stop doing that it was

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so I mean we tried everything to get her

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to stop and nothing nothing nothing

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worked

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and we were convinced I was convinced

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that she was just really trying to make

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me go out of my mind by running her

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hands against the wall and I think back

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about it so silly you know involved in

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there as parents I’m like she really

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wants me to be committed me will not

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stop doing this and anyway so we got the

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results of our neuro sequential trauma

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assessment and right there

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in front of my eyes it was

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proprioceptive deficits which means

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basically difficulty knowing where the

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body is in time and space so there it

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was once I understood the science once I

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understood what this assessment was

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telling me what it was telling me was

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that not only was that really what my

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daughter was doing was trying to stay

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standing upright she wasn’t trying to

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make me go out of my mind she wasn’t

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trying to be defiant she wasn’t trying

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to you know she wasn’t trying to make me

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mad she was she in fact her brain she

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was operating out of the back part of

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her brain she wasn’t or out of a

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different part of her brain she was not

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operating out of the part of her brain

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that could even consider what I

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preferred that she do or not do at the

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time

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so she wasn’t even able to get to the

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part of her brain that could consider

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what I would or wouldn’t want her to do

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when she was walking with her hands

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along the wall she was just trying to

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stay standing upright and I think that

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for me was huge and you know that really

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brings us to the crux of why we do an

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NNT assessment and that is that we all

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want to see our kids thrive and grow and

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we they cannot do what they are not

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neurologically capable of no matter you

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know how many rewards or enticements or

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punishments get doled out what they

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cannot do in what their brains are not

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developed enough to do so she couldn’t

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imagine that she was doing something

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that she had a choice about she was just

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trying to take care of herself

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right trying to survive trying yes

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exactly and I think the other part of it

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it too for me the gift of this

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assessment was that it was a huge relief

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to me to know that she wasn’t trying to

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drive me out of my mind it really was it

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was like oh she’s actually not it it

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really opens our hearts to compassion it

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did when we realize you know this child

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is doing the best they can

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given where they are developmentally yes

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it and it was it was hugely because and

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I and I’ve talked to a lot of parents

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about this because honestly is and I

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think a lot of parents who

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kids who have specifically trauma

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related behavior very high-risk behavior

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and a lot of risk-taking behavior and

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pretty substantial and frequent and

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intense behavior I think that we start

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to develop this lens where are what we

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see for our what we fear and see for our

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children’s future is we we kind of see

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them behind bars in the future like we

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get that’s the fear that comes up in us

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you know it’s real it is children who

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are not helped to develop are going to

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be very limited in how they can respond

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to the world and it puts them at the

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that vulnerability and that fear then

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comes over us as parents and we start

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parenting from that fear and when we’re

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parenting from that fear instead of

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parenting from compassion we’re actually

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adding to the so um so that’s where I

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think that this is such a valuable tool

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and I don’t think there’s anything like

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it I know that from my own experience

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there isn’t anything like it I know that

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it’s the one thing that has helped that

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has made me feel like I had something

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that could could in some way document

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the idea that as a result of their early

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experiences my children had some actual

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deficits and some neurological impact to

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because of their early experiences right

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and you know it’s

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I as a parent have to say it’s such a

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gift to have a child who needs this now

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as opposed to having a child who needed

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it 25 years ago which I do have a child

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who needed it 25 years ago yeah and this

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would have made all the difference for

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my son’s so it’s just it’s it’s a tool

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that can open a lens on how to look at a

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child and offer suggestions on how to

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work with the child and really provide I

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think tremendous hope I think so too

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I think you’re I think that’s totally

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right and I know that I have personally

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been on IEP teams when we’ve had it and

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it has impacted the IEP process in a

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very positive way it’s really helped

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specifically in in how in and you’ll

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probably know that the correct

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terminology for this but in the

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classification piece under an IEP like

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the actual classification for an IEP a

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lot a lot of times there’s a lot of

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stigma havior me in sorry behavior

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intervention plan yes yes that there’s a

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lot of stigma that goes to certain

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classifications and sometimes when

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you’re able to document the neurological

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piece that you you’re able to make a

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case easier for it not necessarily

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that classification that’s one of the

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things that I’ve noticed and therefore

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there’s a little less stigma sometimes I

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that’s what I found Johnny so I’m I’m

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very excited to have you because I know

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one of the things that we’re gonna do

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today is actually go through a neuro

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sequential trauma assessment we’re gonna

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go through my child’s he’s good with

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that he’s okay with doing that I think

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that’s really great my kids have been

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really wonderful about sharing a lot of

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their information and story and so I

0:12:25.810,0:12:29.379
think that’s that’s something that we

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can do and I think will be really great

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I’ve recently redone his neuro

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sequential trauma assessment so I want

0:12:35.379,0:12:45.699
to say that these assessments are done

0:12:38.079,0:12:48.399
based on a child’s history so we used to

0:12:45.699,0:12:52.240
think that you know it it was really

0:12:48.399,0:12:55.899
important to look to be to look at a

0:12:52.240,0:12:59.430
child’s first five years we now know

0:12:55.899,0:13:04.290
that we need to look at the in utero

0:12:59.430,0:13:06.670
situation and we even have to look at

0:13:04.290,0:13:10.630
what was going on with mother and

0:13:06.670,0:13:15.630
grandmother in a family so this

0:13:10.630,0:13:20.319
assessment looks at the history that

0:13:15.630,0:13:23.230
surrounds a child the events that have

0:13:20.319,0:13:25.920
happened both good and bad and the

0:13:23.230,0:13:29.490
child’s relationships

0:13:25.920,0:13:34.630
it also looks at the child’s current

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functioning and specifically the scent

0:13:34.630,0:13:42.069
the functioning of central nervous

0:13:36.160,0:13:46.950
system and which shows up in a myriad of

0:13:42.069,0:13:50.640
ways in physical in physical ailments

0:13:46.950,0:13:56.930
sentence so that’s what the assessments

0:13:50.640,0:14:00.990
based on it is a picture of how a child

0:13:56.930,0:14:03.750
is functioning neurologically but this

0:14:00.990,0:14:06.060
isn’t a scan of a brain you know this

0:14:03.750,0:14:11.670
nobody’s gone into a machine and taken

0:14:06.060,0:14:15.420
an MRI it’s it’s based on what’s known

0:14:11.670,0:14:18.480
about the child so there’s room for

0:14:15.420,0:14:22.670
error or just not having adequate

0:14:18.480,0:14:26.460
information or something like that but

0:14:22.670,0:14:28.560
in my experience doing an assessment and

0:14:26.460,0:14:33.090
then talking to the parents about the

0:14:28.560,0:14:35.460
results finding that that the results of

0:14:33.090,0:14:38.580
the assessment are really ringing true

0:14:35.460,0:14:46.140
with what the parents know about their

0:14:38.580,0:14:52.320
own kids so the assessment has a

0:14:46.140,0:14:55.890
developmental history that shows a graph

0:14:52.320,0:14:59.040
of the events that have taken place in

0:14:55.890,0:15:02.820
the relational health of the situation

0:14:59.040,0:15:04.820
so who are the the adults in the child’s

0:15:02.820,0:15:08.280
life who are there to provide the

0:15:04.820,0:15:14.490
attuned nurturing that every child needs

0:15:08.280,0:15:19.710
or not and then that gives us an idea of

0:15:14.490,0:15:24.140
their developmental risk are they are

0:15:19.710,0:15:27.059
they in line to develop into a

0:15:24.140,0:15:28.919
neurotypical child are they going to

0:15:27.059,0:15:31.889
end up looking like a normal normal

0:15:28.919,0:15:34.319
child or are there things going on that

0:15:31.889,0:15:41.029
are really going to sidetrack their

0:15:34.319,0:15:43.649
development and end up in behaviors and

0:15:41.029,0:15:49.559
developmental delays and that kind of

0:15:43.649,0:15:53.189
thing then there’s also there’s a look

0:15:49.559,0:15:56.909
at what’s called a functional brain map

0:15:53.189,0:16:02.069
and the functional brain map is the

0:15:56.909,0:16:05.209
looks like an upside-down pyramid made

0:16:02.069,0:16:09.509
out of Legos they’re little blobs and

0:16:05.209,0:16:15.419
the base of the pyramid which is the

0:16:09.509,0:16:20.789
smallest area is correlates to the brain

0:16:15.419,0:16:26.879
stem and as the as the pyramid widens

0:16:20.789,0:16:29.279
and goes up the the map is showing

0:16:26.879,0:16:32.429
evidence of what’s going on in the

0:16:29.279,0:16:36.689
higher levels of brain functioning so

0:16:32.429,0:16:43.639
the brain develops from the bottom up in

0:16:36.689,0:16:50.279
the inside-out and if a child has a

0:16:43.639,0:16:52.139
difficult time in in utero in the first

0:16:50.279,0:16:54.599
few especially in the first few months

0:16:52.139,0:16:57.539
of life the first couple of years of

0:16:54.599,0:17:00.199
life then there are going to be problems

0:16:57.539,0:17:05.279
in the development of the real

0:17:00.199,0:17:08.699
underlying parts of the brain and those

0:17:05.279,0:17:11.730
are the foundation and without a good

0:17:08.699,0:17:12.170
foundation it impacts everything that

0:17:11.730,0:17:15.589
comes

0:17:12.170,0:17:21.700
afterwards so a child that’s had that

0:17:15.589,0:17:21.700
sort of impact is going to require

0:17:22.720,0:17:31.180
treatment going to require parenting

0:17:27.100,0:17:33.650
that’s going to help them develop

0:17:31.180,0:17:37.370
neurologically the lower parts of their

0:17:33.650,0:17:41.300
brain and you might guess that’s not

0:17:37.370,0:17:43.640
done in an hour of talk right in a in a

0:17:41.300,0:17:45.740
counselor’s office right that’s not

0:17:43.640,0:17:47.810
where the lower parts and that’s not how

0:17:45.740,0:17:52.820
the lower parts of the brain develop and

0:17:47.810,0:17:56.570
so that’s where we see if I could just

0:17:52.820,0:18:00.170
ask that’s where we see with kids who

0:17:56.570,0:18:03.130
may have gone through really early gone

0:18:00.170,0:18:07.130
through some adverse things and then

0:18:03.130,0:18:09.560
some difficulty early on then into

0:18:07.130,0:18:12.530
things ended up leveling off and they

0:18:09.560,0:18:19.820
have really strong caregiving really

0:18:12.530,0:18:22.010
strong parenting and and all later but

0:18:19.820,0:18:25.270
they’re still seeing lasting problems

0:18:22.010,0:18:28.130
that right that’s why because that

0:18:25.270,0:18:30.380
because of that early experience and the

0:18:28.130,0:18:34.180
developmental impact of that right

0:18:30.380,0:18:37.490
that’s right and the amazing thing is

0:18:34.180,0:18:41.540
that the brain is still willing to

0:18:37.490,0:18:46.190
develop and it’s in the big in its basic

0:18:41.540,0:18:49.670
part the older a child gets the more

0:18:46.190,0:18:51.180
time and the more repetitions of

0:18:49.670,0:18:54.660
treatment and that kind

0:18:51.180,0:18:56.880
thing is going to take four to get to

0:18:54.660,0:18:58.950
nudge that part of the brain into

0:18:56.880,0:19:01.470
developing but it’s still willing to do

0:18:58.950,0:19:03.890
it and so it’s really comes from the

0:19:01.470,0:19:06.810
commitment of the adults around a child

0:19:03.890,0:19:10.470
comes from their commitment to be there

0:19:06.810,0:19:15.000
and provide the structure and the

0:19:10.470,0:19:17.750
treatment so that that brain can get the

0:19:15.000,0:19:21.510
stimulation it needs often enough

0:19:17.750,0:19:28.020
regularly enough to encourage that

0:19:21.510,0:19:33.900
growth right so if we if we look at at

0:19:28.020,0:19:39.680
Jonah’s map there’s there’s a pyramid

0:19:33.900,0:19:45.570
that is all green and that’s actually

0:19:39.680,0:19:48.780
what a typical a neurotypical child’s

0:19:45.570,0:19:52.290
brain map would look like at Jonah’s age

0:19:48.780,0:19:54.840
which is sixteen then if you look at the

0:19:52.290,0:19:57.500
functional brain map that we did for

0:19:54.840,0:20:01.500
Jonah you see that there are places

0:19:57.500,0:20:03.750
where instead of being dark green and

0:20:01.500,0:20:06.180
light green there’s a little bit of dark

0:20:03.750,0:20:10.110
green there’s some light green in there

0:20:06.180,0:20:13.680
some yellow and the areas that are

0:20:10.110,0:20:19.050
lighter than the typical map are areas

0:20:13.680,0:20:23.120
where the assessment is showing that

0:20:19.050,0:20:23.120
there’s not full development yet and

0:20:23.390,0:20:30.870
mention that Jonah is on medication and

0:20:28.350,0:20:35.160
so when we looked at his current

0:20:30.870,0:20:38.070
functioning that medication is allowing

0:20:35.160,0:20:40.830
him to function at a higher level than

0:20:38.070,0:20:41.570
he would be able to if he were not using

0:20:40.830,0:20:45.169
medication

0:20:41.570,0:20:48.590
and so this map is in the is showing his

0:20:45.169,0:20:52.399
functioning using medication if we were

0:20:48.590,0:20:56.450
to go off medication we can assume that

0:20:52.399,0:20:59.119
we’d start seeing pink and red blocks on

0:20:56.450,0:21:02.659
this map indicating that the deficits

0:20:59.119,0:21:04.489
are more than they appear to be right

0:21:02.659,0:21:08.049
now because of the medication I would

0:21:04.489,0:21:08.049
say that’d be a really safe assumption

0:21:09.729,0:21:18.409
so each of these each of the little Lego

0:21:14.840,0:21:24.309
type blocks on the on the pyramid which

0:21:18.409,0:21:27.970
is which represents the brain you are

0:21:24.309,0:21:32.119
demonstrate or connected to a particular

0:21:27.970,0:21:35.419
kind of functioning so the bottom of

0:21:32.119,0:21:39.950
that pyramid is the brainstem it goes

0:21:35.419,0:21:42.229
through the diencephalon the limbic

0:21:39.950,0:21:44.599
system the cortex and the and the

0:21:42.229,0:21:49.429
frontal cortex at the top of the pyramid

0:21:44.599,0:21:50.840
is the frontal cortex and I I think a

0:21:49.429,0:21:54.859
lot of people are aware that that

0:21:50.840,0:21:59.710
frontal cortex is right here is where

0:21:54.859,0:22:02.929
people do their planning organizing and

0:21:59.710,0:22:08.210
what’s referred to often as executive

0:22:02.929,0:22:11.119
functioning and that is all parts of the

0:22:08.210,0:22:15.979
brain are developing at all ages but

0:22:11.119,0:22:20.330
full functionality for the frontal

0:22:15.979,0:22:25.129
cortex goes on through age of each about

0:22:20.330,0:22:26.479
25 so we so you know different at

0:22:25.129,0:22:30.440
different ages you’re going to see

0:22:26.479,0:22:32.430
different colors there but in Jonah’s

0:22:30.440,0:22:35.560
case

0:22:32.430,0:22:40.260
we can see that because of some things

0:22:35.560,0:22:44.470
that happened to him as an infant he has

0:22:40.260,0:22:46.660
deficits starting in the brainstem which

0:22:44.470,0:22:48.730
meant that for him development of the

0:22:46.660,0:22:53.890
higher levels of his brain we’re gonna

0:22:48.730,0:22:56.920
be very challenging and it and it has

0:22:53.890,0:23:03.130
happened and he has areas where he’s

0:22:56.920,0:23:06.990
very functional and areas where probably

0:23:03.130,0:23:10.530
his function is a much younger child so

0:23:06.990,0:23:15.310
and that that has to do with with that

0:23:10.530,0:23:20.590
basic groundwork laid in the brains from

0:23:15.310,0:23:22.210
the brainstem and settle on so then one

0:23:20.590,0:23:25.990
of the other great things I love about

0:23:22.210,0:23:32.020
this assessment is that it also gives

0:23:25.990,0:23:32.580
you ideas for for how to build areas of

0:23:32.020,0:23:35.200
the brain

0:23:32.580,0:23:37.690
so the assessment does come up with

0:23:35.200,0:23:42.550
recommendations for how to work with the

0:23:37.690,0:23:47.080
areas that where the child doesn’t seem

0:23:42.550,0:23:51.610
to be fully developed and the the

0:23:47.080,0:23:55.300
different areas are can our deficits are

0:23:51.610,0:24:00.660
considered needing enrichment or their

0:23:55.300,0:24:05.200
advocate or their impoverished and so

0:24:00.660,0:24:09.490
activities may be a physical kind of

0:24:05.200,0:24:12.540
exercise often it may be something to do

0:24:09.490,0:24:19.070
with rhythm like music Dan

0:24:12.540,0:24:19.070
seeing sports the evidence shows that

0:24:19.250,0:24:27.030
rhythmical repetitive activity is really

0:24:25.230,0:24:30.450
valuable to the development of the brain

0:24:27.030,0:24:32.910
and so specific specific suggestions are

0:24:30.450,0:24:35.430
made for developing different parts of

0:24:32.910,0:24:40.440
the brain based on what’s seen in the

0:24:35.430,0:24:42.960
map yeah and the and just to bring that

0:24:40.440,0:24:47.300
into one of the things that we talked

0:24:42.960,0:24:50.490
about under the rise model is creating

0:24:47.300,0:24:53.430
experiences that include regulation

0:24:50.490,0:24:55.560
relent regulating activities and so we

0:24:53.430,0:24:57.810
put together this packet that we have

0:24:55.560,0:25:00.360
out there for everyone that kind of

0:24:57.810,0:25:02.940
breaks down how to integrate regulating

0:25:00.360,0:25:04.830
activities into every day and these

0:25:02.940,0:25:06.990
categories that are in the neuro

0:25:04.830,0:25:11.670
sequential trauma assessment are in the

0:25:06.990,0:25:14.490
packet and the reason is because we know

0:25:11.670,0:25:16.410
that they do help to build neural

0:25:14.490,0:25:19.110
plasticity and help to build the brain

0:25:16.410,0:25:22.290
in the areas where there might be

0:25:19.110,0:25:25.440
deficits when children have had these

0:25:22.290,0:25:28.950
kinds of early experiences that impact

0:25:25.440,0:25:31.320
the way that brain develop so let me

0:25:28.950,0:25:38.750
give you an example for a little piece

0:25:31.320,0:25:43.200
of Jonah’s chart what we know about his

0:25:38.750,0:25:48.270
prenatal history is that his biological

0:25:43.200,0:25:53.230
mother was using drugs alcohol tobacco

0:25:48.270,0:25:56.380
and there was domestic violence

0:25:53.230,0:26:01.539
that’s pretty devastating on a

0:25:56.380,0:26:04.510
developing fetus and a newborn and the

0:26:01.539,0:26:08.710
and Jonah was in this situation for

0:26:04.510,0:26:12.760
humans so when we look at his chart it’s

0:26:08.710,0:26:18.250
not surprising to go to the base of the

0:26:12.760,0:26:20.440
chart and see that there are areas in

0:26:18.250,0:26:24.580
the brain stem and diencephalon that

0:26:20.440,0:26:31.240
aren’t fully developed and because of

0:26:24.580,0:26:34.299
that his his attempts to develop that

0:26:31.240,0:26:39.070
his brains attempts to develop higher

0:26:34.299,0:26:41.500
functioning has been has been off-track

0:26:39.070,0:26:45.480
as well it just doesn’t have a good

0:26:41.500,0:26:51.179
foundation right so that explains

0:26:45.480,0:26:53.820
behaviorally for him things like his

0:26:51.179,0:26:59.250
having difficulty with transitions

0:26:53.820,0:27:05.320
having high sensory needs absolutely

0:26:59.250,0:27:11.500
having big reactions big responses to

0:27:05.320,0:27:14.580
things that are that that that are just

0:27:11.500,0:27:19.179
being hot just having a sensitive system

0:27:14.580,0:27:22.120
absolutely right yes yeah in an even and

0:27:19.179,0:27:25.210
it goes much more subtle than that as

0:27:22.120,0:27:28.149
well for example as a 16 year old

0:27:25.210,0:27:32.769
there’s an item on his map that refers

0:27:28.149,0:27:37.360
to values and beliefs and what that

0:27:32.769,0:27:41.049
means is at his age does he

0:27:37.360,0:27:45.760
manage his values and beliefs similarly

0:27:41.049,0:27:51.309
to a neurotypical 16 year old and what I

0:27:45.760,0:27:54.690
know from our conversations is that he

0:27:51.309,0:27:57.880
actually sees the world through the lens

0:27:54.690,0:28:00.520
that would be one of a much younger

0:27:57.880,0:28:05.580
child so he sees things as black and

0:28:00.520,0:28:08.620
white and right and wrong whereas by 16

0:28:05.580,0:28:11.080
most children are starting to see the

0:28:08.620,0:28:13.960
gray areas and talk about well it

0:28:11.080,0:28:19.270
depends on the situation and that kind

0:28:13.960,0:28:23.020
of thing so that you know that’s a more

0:28:19.270,0:28:25.419
subtle battle evidence of how the

0:28:23.020,0:28:30.610
development is lagging behind right

0:28:25.419,0:28:34.780
right yeah but he still has difficulty

0:28:30.610,0:28:38.260
with being in situations where there’s a

0:28:34.780,0:28:42.280
lot of stimulation right he definitely

0:28:38.260,0:28:47.049
does and that’s going back to having

0:28:42.280,0:28:50.080
just his nervous system not having the

0:28:47.049,0:28:52.059
support it needed and he although he has

0:28:50.080,0:28:54.880
developed really great opeing skills but

0:28:52.059,0:28:58.450
that the challenge is still there for

0:28:54.880,0:29:02.020
him and I think something that we I

0:28:58.450,0:29:04.419
think that one of the things that that I

0:29:02.020,0:29:06.250
that I didn’t cover when I was talking

0:29:04.419,0:29:10.150
about the story with my daughter that

0:29:06.250,0:29:12.220
was just this big aha moment for me with

0:29:10.150,0:29:15.250
all of this is that what it did for me

0:29:12.220,0:29:18.340
was it helped me look at my child’s

0:29:15.250,0:29:19.960
behavior and and instead of filing it in

0:29:18.340,0:29:22.000
the Walt category

0:29:19.960,0:29:25.630
it helped me file it in the can’t

0:29:22.000,0:29:29.140
category you know which was really

0:29:25.630,0:29:33.730
really huge and I think that that’s what

0:29:29.140,0:29:37.169
I I hope that’s my hope for a lot of

0:29:33.730,0:29:41.679
parents and educators and caregivers

0:29:37.169,0:29:44.919
with this with this assessment because I

0:29:41.679,0:29:46.850
think that that’s what it does for kids

0:29:44.919,0:29:50.389
is it helps you look

0:29:46.850,0:29:53.659
where they have these significant areas

0:29:50.389,0:29:56.960
of deficit and look at it as a can’t and

0:29:53.659,0:29:59.149
not a won’t and therefore it’s something

0:29:56.960,0:30:05.139
that they need to be nurtured through

0:29:59.149,0:30:05.139
and supported through as opposed to

0:30:05.200,0:30:11.750
corrected and punished through you know

0:30:07.880,0:30:14.870
because what I have found with my kids

0:30:11.750,0:30:17.929
both of my kids is that the harder we

0:30:14.870,0:30:20.899
corrected and punished can’t behavior

0:30:17.929,0:30:25.309
the more we threatened and further

0:30:20.899,0:30:31.460
sensitize their system exactly and that

0:30:25.309,0:30:34.070
reminds me of dr. Perry’s you know least

0:30:31.460,0:30:40.159
helpful question in the universe’s why

0:30:34.070,0:30:42.679
did you do that yes I always liked one

0:30:40.159,0:30:46.399
of my I’m gonna get a t-shirt that says

0:30:42.679,0:30:51.919
when I used to ask my kids why because I

0:30:46.399,0:30:54.980
don’t ever anymore as my kids like they

0:30:51.919,0:30:57.080
don’t they don’t know and if the it

0:30:54.980,0:31:01.399
really is you might as well be writing

0:30:57.080,0:31:04.250
an invitation for them to lie like well

0:31:01.399,0:31:08.149
or words stand blankly right II don’t

0:31:04.250,0:31:11.330
even understand I questioned right I

0:31:08.149,0:31:14.600
know oh man yes I could I could like

0:31:11.330,0:31:18.169
write a book on just that subject

0:31:14.600,0:31:21.500
I think but yes it took me a long long

0:31:18.169,0:31:25.639
time not to to learn that one but it’s

0:31:21.500,0:31:29.419
true I and and we we do it all the time

0:31:25.639,0:31:30.379
is well being able to answer why I did

0:31:29.419,0:31:33.110
what I did

0:31:30.379,0:31:36.679
requires a level of cognitive

0:31:33.110,0:31:38.890
functioning that’s not taking place when

0:31:36.679,0:31:41.860
a kid has just acted out in some way

0:31:38.890,0:31:44.170
yeah exactly a manner that’s you know we

0:31:41.860,0:31:46.570
think they shouldn’t be right maybe we

0:31:44.170,0:31:48.490
should start teaching toddlers to say I

0:31:46.570,0:31:52.179
don’t have access to that part of my

0:31:48.490,0:31:59.280
brain right now anybody can just tell us

0:31:52.179,0:32:04.570
that and we could go oh yeah you know

0:31:59.280,0:32:07.090
yeah you know yeah to teach flippin your

0:32:04.570,0:32:10.679
lid right exactly yeah

0:32:07.090,0:32:14.260
yes but I do think that that that

0:32:10.679,0:32:16.660
overall I think the value of the neuro

0:32:14.260,0:32:20.230
sequential trauma assessment is having

0:32:16.660,0:32:23.040
that that tool and giving its I think a

0:32:20.230,0:32:26.410
valuable pleat piece of a blueprint for

0:32:23.040,0:32:28.780
properly caring for a child that has

0:32:26.410,0:32:31.870
trauma related needs and I I think

0:32:28.780,0:32:35.860
that’s really what it does is it

0:32:31.870,0:32:39.100
provides a really important piece of

0:32:35.860,0:32:42.790
having a blueprint for for really caring

0:32:39.100,0:32:46.000
well for a child I agree and I think I

0:32:42.790,0:32:48.250
think part of its value is that it’s

0:32:46.000,0:32:53.290
something that a parent can come back to

0:32:48.250,0:32:56.169
and say why am I doing this 20 times a

0:32:53.290,0:32:59.650
day oh yeah I need to do this 20 times a

0:32:56.169,0:33:03.400
day because we know this about this kid

0:32:59.650,0:33:05.830
right and otherwise the information that

0:33:03.400,0:33:08.110
well your child has had trauma in their

0:33:05.830,0:33:08.980
past and you know these would be good

0:33:08.110,0:33:11.200
things to do

0:33:08.980,0:33:13.960
that becomes just more general knowledge

0:33:11.200,0:33:18.120
just sort of you know okay that’s a good

0:33:13.960,0:33:21.370
idea but with the assessment saying

0:33:18.120,0:33:23.860
these are the activities that would be

0:33:21.370,0:33:27.400
really good for your child

0:33:23.860,0:33:30.910
to help develop their brain and this is

0:33:27.400,0:33:32.200
how often you should do them and that

0:33:30.910,0:33:34.120
you know and that’s what it’s going to

0:33:32.200,0:33:37.540
take for development

0:33:34.120,0:33:39.670
that’s that provides a structure and

0:33:37.540,0:33:44.590
sort of something to hang on to to keep

0:33:39.670,0:33:48.730
a parent motivated and on target and we

0:33:44.590,0:33:54.010
know that when assessments are redone

0:33:48.730,0:33:56.050
maybe six months out that imperative if

0:33:54.010,0:33:59.950
parents and caregivers have been

0:33:56.050,0:34:02.140
consistent in providing the activities

0:33:59.950,0:34:03.610
and care that the brain shows

0:34:02.140,0:34:06.490
development yes

0:34:03.610,0:34:10.660
yes its development that doesn’t happen

0:34:06.490,0:34:14.679
in a more haphazard albeit maybe well

0:34:10.660,0:34:17.169
midway right one of the things I always

0:34:14.679,0:34:23.950
stress with the parents and the families

0:34:17.169,0:34:28.300
that I work with is is doing approaching

0:34:23.950,0:34:31.929
regulating activities from two sides

0:34:28.300,0:34:35.260
first of all in a preventive way so in a

0:34:31.929,0:34:37.720
scheduled kind of routine so making it

0:34:35.260,0:34:41.050
part of your actual routine that you do

0:34:37.720,0:34:43.410
all the time and then in a responsive

0:34:41.050,0:34:46.720
way so when you’re in the face of

0:34:43.410,0:34:49.000
dysregulation or escalation having

0:34:46.720,0:34:52.150
regulating activities that help to

0:34:49.000,0:34:55.030
soothe the system in the moment so that

0:34:52.150,0:34:58.780
way your first of all you’re proactively

0:34:55.030,0:35:01.740
building you know the brain in a routine

0:34:58.780,0:35:05.740
way and then you’re also responding to

0:35:01.740,0:35:09.280
dysregulation with soothing regulating

0:35:05.740,0:35:10.690
activity and helping them gain access to

0:35:09.280,0:35:14.289
the part of their brain that they need

0:35:10.690,0:35:17.319
access in the moment does that does that

0:35:14.289,0:35:22.180
it does it does and earlier today you

0:35:17.319,0:35:23.619
were telling me about urine from your

0:35:22.180,0:35:25.960
packet of information that is

0:35:23.619,0:35:27.940
encouraging parents to have periods of

0:35:25.960,0:35:29.710
time where we do what we need to do in

0:35:27.940,0:35:31.750
periods of time where we do what we want

0:35:29.710,0:35:35.980
to do yeah and that’s the kind of

0:35:31.750,0:35:42.420
structure that has to be put in place so

0:35:35.980,0:35:46.530
that the activities are dosed out and

0:35:42.420,0:35:50.289
actually lead to consistent development

0:35:46.530,0:35:54.069
right the importance absolute importance

0:35:50.289,0:35:58.270
of dosing it’s it’s that’s one of the

0:35:54.069,0:36:01.859
things that we learned with our kids is

0:35:58.270,0:36:06.510
that it’s so important that dosing is so

0:36:01.859,0:36:12.420
important for building and sustaining

0:36:06.510,0:36:17.140
and it also helps keep you out of that

0:36:12.420,0:36:19.539
you can’t make me it moves that’s right

0:36:17.140,0:36:22.930
it makes it keeps it collaborative and

0:36:19.539,0:36:27.279
it also it keeps things yeah it keeps

0:36:22.930,0:36:33.329
the brain receptive and and I think that

0:36:27.279,0:36:37.630
that’s a huge part of of staying

0:36:33.329,0:36:41.170
regulated is staying receptive I mean

0:36:37.630,0:36:42.700
just keeping that receptiveness and

0:36:41.170,0:36:46.390
that’s one of the things that I talk

0:36:42.700,0:36:49.630
about all the time is that just having a

0:36:46.390,0:36:52.240
schedule that is okay here are the tasks

0:36:49.630,0:36:54.369
or the day and nobody’s having fun or

0:36:52.240,0:36:56.559
doing anything fun until everything that

0:36:54.369,0:37:00.339
has to be done is done first that just

0:36:56.559,0:37:03.309
doesn’t work for kids who have a

0:37:00.339,0:37:05.680
sensitized system because number one

0:37:03.309,0:37:08.500
it’s overwhelming for them and it seems

0:37:05.680,0:37:11.299
unattainable but not unachievable and

0:37:08.500,0:37:14.209
number two it instantly puts

0:37:11.299,0:37:16.429
in that adversarial mindset that we are

0:37:14.209,0:37:19.519
not on the same team we are not in

0:37:16.429,0:37:21.859
connection we are not doing together you

0:37:19.519,0:37:25.809
don’t have my best interests at heart

0:37:21.859,0:37:29.659
you have the day’s best interest in

0:37:25.809,0:37:32.259
something else at heart other than my

0:37:29.659,0:37:35.479
best interest and I feel like when our

0:37:32.259,0:37:37.579
kids know that we have their that number

0:37:35.479,0:37:40.099
one first and foremost we’re going to

0:37:37.579,0:37:41.779
meet your basic needs but before

0:37:40.099,0:37:44.059
anything else when that’s their first

0:37:41.779,0:37:46.819
message that they get we are going to

0:37:44.059,0:37:48.679
meet your needs first then we’re going

0:37:46.819,0:37:50.119
to go back and forth between what we

0:37:48.679,0:37:51.380
need to do we’re going to do some of

0:37:50.119,0:37:53.509
what we need to do we’re going to do

0:37:51.380,0:37:54.619
some of what we want to do and we’re

0:37:53.509,0:37:58.759
going to kind of go back and forth

0:37:54.619,0:38:01.519
between the two and then after you we’re

0:37:58.759,0:38:03.919
also going to sprinkle in regulating

0:38:01.519,0:38:07.759
activity so we can keep our bodies and

0:38:03.919,0:38:11.599
our minds regulated then we’re really

0:38:07.759,0:38:13.969
building a rhythm that works for staying

0:38:11.599,0:38:17.539
in relationship building resilience and

0:38:13.969,0:38:22.189
building hope and connection which is

0:38:17.539,0:38:24.859
which is the goal and I really Malea

0:38:22.189,0:38:28.459
dressed this many ways but I really

0:38:24.859,0:38:34.189
recommend having a timer so that child

0:38:28.459,0:38:36.499
can see okay this is I’m doing this that

0:38:34.189,0:38:38.479
my favorite thing to do but I’m only

0:38:36.499,0:38:41.419
it’s gonna come to an end and then I get

0:38:38.479,0:38:43.130
to do something else and then also even

0:38:41.419,0:38:46.399
while they’re having fun doing something

0:38:43.130,0:38:47.599
they can recognize that that time is

0:38:46.399,0:38:52.130
going to come to an end

0:38:47.599,0:38:53.300
it isn’t a big surprise that someone is

0:38:52.130,0:38:55.910
pulling them away

0:38:53.300,0:39:02.000
to do something else absolutely building

0:38:55.910,0:39:04.730
some building in some expectation so

0:39:02.000,0:39:07.670
that enough that’s a brain development

0:39:04.730,0:39:10.280
skill in itself is absolutely anticipate

0:39:07.670,0:39:13.280
yes and and we have like some of the

0:39:10.280,0:39:16.820
kids I work with cannot handle an actual

0:39:13.280,0:39:20.480
timer that makes the noise but ass and

0:39:16.820,0:39:23.290
you know like they’re you know but being

0:39:20.480,0:39:27.280
and I think it all comes down to

0:39:23.290,0:39:30.920
noticing what can your child system

0:39:27.280,0:39:33.830
handle and how do they manage this

0:39:30.920,0:39:36.080
transition do they need if you’re gonna

0:39:33.830,0:39:38.540
do 30 minutes of something do they need

0:39:36.080,0:39:41.750
a 25 minute timer and then another

0:39:38.540,0:39:44.360
five-minute timer do they need you know

0:39:41.750,0:39:48.260
how does it work for them but definitely

0:39:44.360,0:39:54.230
keeping it so that they have in so that

0:39:48.260,0:39:57.320
it is truly collaborative and truly you

0:39:54.230,0:39:59.870
know mutuality is a real part of what’s

0:39:57.320,0:40:02.810
going on so that they do see that you

0:39:59.870,0:40:05.920
are honoring what you said we really are

0:40:02.810,0:40:08.630
gonna do actually 30 minutes of this

0:40:05.920,0:40:11.780
undesired task and then we’re going to

0:40:08.630,0:40:15.850
do really 30 minutes of your desired

0:40:11.780,0:40:19.610
task and that’s you can count on that

0:40:15.850,0:40:22.310
right it builds trust it does is it

0:40:19.610,0:40:25.010
builds trust it builds skill it builds

0:40:22.310,0:40:28.100
the brain it’s it’s just a really good

0:40:25.010,0:40:32.900
way to work with them I have found it I

0:40:28.100,0:40:35.990
haven’t ever I mean even the most kids

0:40:32.900,0:40:40.190
that have the most difficulty with this

0:40:35.990,0:40:43.510
sitting at a chair can do this they they

0:40:40.190,0:40:47.540
can it might be that we do something

0:40:43.510,0:40:49.520
transitioning to the need to tasks you

0:40:47.540,0:40:52.970
know like we might have to do something

0:40:49.520,0:40:56.220
that helps regulate on the way to the

0:40:52.970,0:40:59.640
need to task and that’s okay

0:40:56.220,0:41:01.470
you know but they are still able to do

0:40:59.640,0:41:03.900
it and it might be that the need to test

0:41:01.470,0:41:06.450
we might have to start really small at

0:41:03.900,0:41:08.940
first it might have to be ten minutes of

0:41:06.450,0:41:12.060
neetu and ten minutes of want to but

0:41:08.940,0:41:15.839
what happens i notice is that the desire

0:41:12.060,0:41:24.119
to stretch the want to drive stretching

0:41:15.839,0:41:26.910
the need to so it works is there

0:41:24.119,0:41:30.180
anything that came out of the

0:41:26.910,0:41:34.770
assessments you have done when the kids

0:41:30.180,0:41:37.349
were little that you chose to do with

0:41:34.770,0:41:44.060
them and you feel like those particular

0:41:37.349,0:41:44.060
activities led to noticeable difference

0:41:44.240,0:41:53.609
in our situation early on both of our

0:41:48.329,0:41:57.109
kids had significant impact and this was

0:41:53.609,0:42:02.640
before the trauma-informed movement and

0:41:57.109,0:42:07.470
also we had a true lack of supports so

0:42:02.640,0:42:09.630
we were really isolated as a family we

0:42:07.470,0:42:12.599
were working with a wonderful therapist

0:42:09.630,0:42:15.810
and were fortunate enough to get to go

0:42:12.599,0:42:20.160
to to some trainings with dr. Bruce

0:42:15.810,0:42:24.089
Perry and so we did have access to and

0:42:20.160,0:42:26.730
understand how important it was to

0:42:24.089,0:42:28.619
integrate this some of this stuff into

0:42:26.730,0:42:32.550
what we were doing and so we were able

0:42:28.619,0:42:36.690
to integrate a lot of this in so we ran

0:42:32.550,0:42:41.310
in our household around this assessment

0:42:36.690,0:42:44.599
really is what we did and so that meant

0:42:41.310,0:42:47.040
we every two hours we were doing

0:42:44.599,0:42:49.920
regulating activities and really what it

0:42:47.040,0:42:54.170
meant was we did a lot of very low-tech

0:42:49.920,0:42:57.089
pet play you know we did a lot of we

0:42:54.170,0:42:58.850
were jumping on the trampoline that we

0:42:57.089,0:43:01.610
were doing

0:42:58.850,0:43:07.880
Lumi sticks was part of what we did we

0:43:01.610,0:43:11.180
did tons of swimming we were you know

0:43:07.880,0:43:14.900
lots of hand slapping games crossing the

0:43:11.180,0:43:18.980
midline dance we did dishes and danced

0:43:14.900,0:43:23.240
and did household chores and danced and

0:43:18.980,0:43:27.310
played puppets and I mean we just did a

0:43:23.240,0:43:33.490
lot of very interactive very engaged

0:43:27.310,0:43:37.130
low-tech play and pretty much we

0:43:33.490,0:43:42.140
incorporated all of what was proscribed

0:43:37.130,0:43:45.380
and turned it into play at home so what

0:43:42.140,0:43:51.620
we really ended up doing was playing a

0:43:45.380,0:43:56.060
whole whole whole lot and the relational

0:43:51.620,0:43:59.990
benefits from that are as important as

0:43:56.060,0:44:03.800
is important as you know the cross

0:43:59.990,0:44:08.000
hemispheric engagement and that kind of

0:44:03.800,0:44:13.250
thing you have that playing together is

0:44:08.000,0:44:19.810
just a huge brain boost you know for

0:44:13.250,0:44:22.360
kids right and then later as we started

0:44:19.810,0:44:27.230
becoming exhausted

0:44:22.360,0:44:31.000
obviously as parents because we did get

0:44:27.230,0:44:33.920
really exhausted we started looking for

0:44:31.000,0:44:37.580
what we call well now we call them

0:44:33.920,0:44:39.200
relational mentors and and but now but

0:44:37.580,0:44:43.280
we also call them those magical people

0:44:39.200,0:44:46.670
you know so we started looking for other

0:44:43.280,0:44:50.450
people who were interested in learning

0:44:46.670,0:44:54.080
about how to play with our kids in this

0:44:50.450,0:44:56.810
unique kind of way and we were really

0:44:54.080,0:44:59.930
surprised at the amazing people we found

0:44:56.810,0:45:02.240
who were interested and would take you

0:44:59.930,0:45:06.020
know a two-hour shift oh we

0:45:02.240,0:45:09.080
or whatever to take our kids on a little

0:45:06.020,0:45:12.260
adventure or an outing to do something

0:45:09.080,0:45:15.380
with our kids – to do this and I will

0:45:12.260,0:45:19.460
tell you that that the act of having

0:45:15.380,0:45:23.410
people outside of us to do that that is

0:45:19.460,0:45:28.420
where I have seen Jonah’s social skills

0:45:23.410,0:45:34.160
especially his relational skills just

0:45:28.420,0:45:37.150
flourish you know he had his you know as

0:45:34.160,0:45:42.520
we were talking about and as his

0:45:37.150,0:45:46.300
assessment indicates his relational

0:45:42.520,0:45:48.980
resilience his relational development is

0:45:46.300,0:45:51.890
significantly was significantly impacted

0:45:48.980,0:45:56.720
that was his really it was really really

0:45:51.890,0:46:00.160
tough for him and that’s what made you

0:45:56.720,0:46:03.760
know school was extremely hard for him

0:46:00.160,0:46:09.560
friendships and you know things like

0:46:03.760,0:46:13.369
playing games you know the the game went

0:46:09.560,0:46:17.500
flying off it right now you know what we

0:46:13.369,0:46:21.440
did not lots of pieces everywhere often

0:46:17.500,0:46:25.609
but but getting those opportunities to

0:46:21.440,0:46:28.930
have an adult a safe adult who he could

0:46:25.609,0:46:32.089
go and adventure with and learn from and

0:46:28.930,0:46:34.970
who would Co regulate with him who would

0:46:32.089,0:46:38.570
work with him on building those skills

0:46:34.970,0:46:43.369
who understood if he had a big reaction

0:46:38.570,0:46:47.270
and wasn’t going to react harshly or

0:46:43.369,0:46:51.680
punitive ly to him that’s when we really

0:46:47.270,0:46:54.859
saw him just flourish and now like I

0:46:51.680,0:46:59.089
mentioned earlier he has a lot of really

0:46:54.859,0:47:02.839
great coping skills he hilt still has a

0:46:59.089,0:47:06.440
lower than average tolerance for social

0:47:02.839,0:47:08.950
situations but he has coping skills so

0:47:06.440,0:47:13.119
he can properly remove himself

0:47:08.950,0:47:17.369
from a situation take care of himself

0:47:13.119,0:47:20.530
get regulated and come back and endure

0:47:17.369,0:47:25.180
where he couldn’t before at all it was

0:47:20.530,0:47:27.550
like big explosion done you know and you

0:47:25.180,0:47:34.150
know that this really speaks to dr.

0:47:27.550,0:47:38.320
Perry’s sense of that a lot of bad stuff

0:47:34.150,0:47:42.609
can happen to a kid but if you put a lot

0:47:38.320,0:47:46.180
of good loving in attuned people around

0:47:42.609,0:47:49.630
that child then you can you can

0:47:46.180,0:47:52.960
ameliorate that right so it you know

0:47:49.630,0:47:55.000
it’s the us back – it takes a village it

0:47:52.960,0:47:55.900
you want a hand pick your village but

0:47:55.000,0:47:59.170
yeah

0:47:55.900,0:48:02.530
that’s right and and that is you know I

0:47:59.170,0:48:06.520
think that that is you know this

0:48:02.530,0:48:10.270
assessment and dr. Perry’s work and that

0:48:06.520,0:48:14.790
all of the other amazing people like Dan

0:48:10.270,0:48:18.700
Siegel and you know all of the others

0:48:14.790,0:48:22.270
were really helpful in helping us find

0:48:18.700,0:48:26.470
our way and transform as parents but it

0:48:22.270,0:48:29.500
was really isolating and being in that

0:48:26.470,0:48:32.650
situation where it was just us I feel

0:48:29.500,0:48:37.000
like even though we didn’t have a choice

0:48:32.650,0:48:40.810
but but to do that to help our kids

0:48:37.000,0:48:44.589
it was also causing harm being that

0:48:40.810,0:48:46.569
isolated you know yes and so it was it

0:48:44.589,0:48:49.569
was it was causing a lot of harm so

0:48:46.569,0:48:51.760
really once we found others who were

0:48:49.569,0:48:55.119
willing to learn and open to learning

0:48:51.760,0:48:57.910
and supporting that’s when we really

0:48:55.119,0:48:58.760
started to see our kids I think there’s

0:48:57.910,0:49:01.700
a mistake

0:48:58.760,0:49:08.540
belief in this country that families are

0:49:01.700,0:49:11.900
supposed to be self-sufficient and it’s

0:49:08.540,0:49:18.050
it’s not helpful that belief is not

0:49:11.900,0:49:24.170
helpful right and Families our families

0:49:18.050,0:49:27.050
need to be open to interaction with

0:49:24.170,0:49:31.280
other with other healthy people my

0:49:27.050,0:49:34.040
extended family events are really

0:49:31.280,0:49:35.780
important kids need to know their

0:49:34.040,0:49:39.860
auntie’s and uncles and yeah

0:49:35.780,0:49:44.290
grandparents and they need neighbors

0:49:39.860,0:49:47.570
that they know are safe ports in a storm

0:49:44.290,0:49:51.140
and it’s that’s become more and more

0:49:47.570,0:49:51.890
difficult to find in this country in

0:49:51.140,0:49:54.500
this age

0:49:51.890,0:49:57.290
I think another I think that’s totally

0:49:54.500,0:50:02.270
true and I think another thing that’s

0:49:57.290,0:50:05.600
really a mistaken belief and a mistaken

0:50:02.270,0:50:09.740
part of our cultural development is that

0:50:05.600,0:50:13.160
we have this misguided belief that when

0:50:09.740,0:50:18.250
we see behavior that’s uncomfortable to

0:50:13.160,0:50:21.530
us that we should make the behavior as

0:50:18.250,0:50:25.580
uncomfortable for the kid that’s having

0:50:21.530,0:50:30.050
the behavior as it is for us and that

0:50:25.580,0:50:33.050
the way to do that is to shun them or or

0:50:30.050,0:50:34.970
not participate if they’re not our child

0:50:33.050,0:50:37.730
you know if they’re not our child than

0:50:34.970,0:50:41.240
we then disengaging and or not being

0:50:37.730,0:50:43.070
involved is the way to to handle that

0:50:41.240,0:50:44.800
and I think that that and then the

0:50:43.070,0:50:48.530
behavior is the parents responsibility

0:50:44.800,0:50:51.590
and while I get where that comes from

0:50:48.530,0:50:53.780
and I think that where it’s the punitive

0:50:51.590,0:50:55.280
piece of that that really I hope will

0:50:53.780,0:50:56.810
culturally shift and I think

0:50:55.280,0:51:00.200
it’s things like this assessment that

0:50:56.810,0:51:04.400
will make that happen over time because

0:51:00.200,0:51:07.130
a whole new lens is needed for behavior

0:51:04.400,0:51:11.120
because behavior is communication and

0:51:07.130,0:51:14.260
behavior is there for a reason

0:51:11.120,0:51:17.000
and I think our kids are are

0:51:14.260,0:51:22.400
communicating with their behavior and as

0:51:17.000,0:51:24.980
they learn better and and develop they

0:51:22.400,0:51:26.600
can you know do better and I think we

0:51:24.980,0:51:30.500
need to be supporting each other like a

0:51:26.600,0:51:31.940
village and learn to support kids in the

0:51:30.500,0:51:33.710
way they need to be supported I think

0:51:31.940,0:51:36.680
that is what scientists and open

0:51:33.710,0:51:39.170
communication with our kids about about

0:51:36.680,0:51:40.880
that yeah this is your team this is your

0:51:39.170,0:51:42.110
village that’s right these are the

0:51:40.880,0:51:46.520
people you can trust

0:51:42.110,0:51:49.400
right yes yes yes and if something

0:51:46.520,0:51:51.830
happens here’s the process connection

0:51:49.400,0:51:54.070
break repair you know like if you mess

0:51:51.830,0:51:57.710
up you mess up and that it can be fixed

0:51:54.070,0:52:00.290
you know everything’s not over there

0:51:57.710,0:52:07.190
relationships not gone if you make a

0:52:00.290,0:52:10.850
mistake yeah we need a lot of a lot of

0:52:07.190,0:52:15.680
US adults me to learn that yes I think

0:52:10.850,0:52:17.360
so my things help do I think that the

0:52:15.680,0:52:21.590
neuro sequential trauma assessment I

0:52:17.360,0:52:24.440
can’t I can’t even express how exciting

0:52:21.590,0:52:26.090
it is to me that we actually have you as

0:52:24.440,0:52:29.870
part of the team and that we actually

0:52:26.090,0:52:34.760
have it to offer I didn’t cover or say

0:52:29.870,0:52:37.520
that I went on I was actually four it

0:52:34.760,0:52:41.570
was a ten year long mission of mine to

0:52:37.520,0:52:44.810
have somebody on the team to be able to

0:52:41.570,0:52:48.680
do it because once my kids got it it was

0:52:44.810,0:52:52.220
so valuable that I started looking

0:52:48.680,0:52:52.760
everywhere and in here in Washington

0:52:52.220,0:52:55.040
State

0:52:52.760,0:52:55.859
I couldn’t find the closest person

0:52:55.040,0:52:57.690
wearing

0:52:55.859,0:52:59.359
turn Washington and the closest person

0:52:57.690,0:53:03.779
we could find was in The Dalles Oregon

0:52:59.359,0:53:05.910
that provided it so just looking for

0:53:03.779,0:53:11.279
somebody and finding someone that

0:53:05.910,0:53:14.430
offered it was a huge huge challenge so

0:53:11.279,0:53:17.369
now we’ve got it here it’s available

0:53:14.430,0:53:20.130
Reba’s doing it so if anybody’s

0:53:17.369,0:53:22.170
interested in having it definitely go to

0:53:20.130,0:53:25.650
the website there’s an area of the

0:53:22.170,0:53:28.680
website where you can ask about it it’s

0:53:25.650,0:53:32.549
just an amazing tool and it’s my

0:53:28.680,0:53:35.599
privilege to be part of this I’m so glad

0:53:32.549,0:53:35.599
that you are

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