Years ago, we were parenting two newly-adopted children, both with significant trauma-related needs. At the time, our children required a high level of support and our whole family became stressed. We had just begun to learn about the impact of developmental trauma, but we had limited resources and little access to support. We were overwhelmed and pretty much on our own. We lived in isolation, similar to how we all have lived during the COVID-19 pandemic.
We learned how to do things differently and got our family through the roughest and most isolated days. We kept it simple, stayed connected with each other, and tried our best to be kind. We found that when we could do those things, we really did survive and thrive. We were not perfect. The kids had hard days, and we had them too. When hard days happened, we made repair, tried again, and moved forward. Our greatest lesson learned was that our kids do not need us to be perfect. They need us to be gentle with ourselves and with them, and to worry less about doing and focus more on being.